When praying doesn’t make the anxiety disappear

You know the feeling when you keep praying over the same situation again and again throughout the day? The first time you pray, you feel peace… but then the overthinking spiral creeps back in. Suddenly you wonder, Maybe God didn’t hear me. Maybe I should pray again. Maybe if I reword it… maybe if I pray harder… maybe if I ask enough times, He’ll see how much it matters.

But here’s the key:
We’re often praying for our wish, not His will.

God isn’t a genie we present our desires to until He grants them. He is not swayed by frantic repetition or spiritual perfectionism. He is the all-knowing, all-loving Father who sees a picture far bigger than we ever could. Our minds can’t hold all that He understands, and that’s where faith steps in.

I can’t count how many times I begged God for something, weeks, months, even years, only to look back later and thank Him for not giving me what I thought I needed. God saw the parts I couldn’t: the cost, the compromise, the way that “answered prayer” would have led me away from His purpose for my life. He loved me enough to say no or not yet.

Sweet girl, think of God as the most protective father, a girl dad who wants the absolute best for His daughter. Even when she doesn’t understand His choices, He guards and guides her with love. I think about the way my earthly father has protected me, and then I try to imagine the God of the universe caring for me even more tenderly. It’s overwhelming.

I’ve thrown tantrums with God like a teenager slamming doors, crying out, “Why did it have to go like this? You could’ve stopped this. You could’ve changed this.” And sometimes, like good fathers do, God lets us walk through lessons that build the strength, wisdom, and faith we couldn’t grow any other way.

 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.”-Isaiah 43:2

This year has been one of the hardest of my life. I walked through a divorce. I moved back home with my parents. Faced unemployment. Lost my grandmother. And now, at the end of the year, I find myself navigating heartbreak from betrayal—right when I was learning to trust again.

I’ve asked questions that echo in the dark:

“Will I ever get a happy ending?”
“Am I even lovable?”
“Why do my relationships keep ending in heartbreak, when I try to show kindness, care, and grace?”

I don’t have the answers yet. But in the middle of the confusion, God keeps reminding me of one truth: He is with me.
He is close to the brokenhearted. He binds up their wounds.

 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”- Psalm 147:3
He is teaching me forgiveness, endurance, and faith I never would’ve developed in comfort.

So what do you do when the prayer doesn’t make the anxiety go away?

You Keep Surrendering…Again and Again

Every morning I whisper, “God, I surrender this to You.”
When the anxiety shows up at work, I breathe and say, “God, I can’t handle this. Please handle this.”
When the loneliness creeps in at night, I pray, “God, I lay this at Your feet.”

And I do this over and over and over.

For someone with anxiety, or anxiety mixed with OCD, prayer can start to feel like a ritual you have to complete “correctly” until it feels right. But the truth is this:

God heard you the first time.
He hears your heart before your words.
He is already working on what you fear long before you fear it.

Rest in that.

 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 4:6-7

Ways to Stop the Spiral

1. Thought-Stopping

• When a spiraling thought appears, say (in your mind or out loud): “Stop.”

• Replace it with truth:

• “God is handling this.”

• “This thought is not helping me.”

• “I am safe right now.”

2. The 5 Senses Grounding Technique

When anxiety pulls you into the “what ifs,” pull yourself back into the present:

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can touch

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

3. Box Breathing

Inhale 4 seconds → Hold 4 → Exhale 4 → Hold 4
Repeat 3–5 times to calm your nervous system.

4. Surrender Statements

Short prayers you can repeat throughout the day:

“God, I trust You with this.”

“You go before me.”

“You are my peace, not my circumstances.”

5. Limit the Rumination Time

Give yourself a 10 minute window each day to journal the fears, pray through them, and release them.
When the thought comes back outside that window, remind yourself:
“I’ve already talked to God about this today.”

6. Create a “Truth List”

Write 5–10 scriptures or truths you can read when spiraling begins. Let God’s Word interrupt the cycle.

One thing that’s helped me is putting sticky notes on my bathroom mirror with my favorite Bible verses and quotes I want to believe about myself. Here are a few of mine:

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no danger because my Lord is with me.

-Psalm 23

Do not be anxious about anything

-Philippians 4:6

Can you add one moment to your life by worrying?

-Matthew 6:27

I am enough

I am proud of myself

The pain that you’ve been feeling can’t compare to the joy that is coming. 

-Romans 8:18